Isha  0:01  
Welcome to the Revolution Rompereglas podcast, where we converge at the intersection of trauma healing, embodied spirituality, decolonization, pleasure, intimacy, leadership and culture change. I'm Isha Vela, trauma psychologist and somatic expressive energy alchemist for healers, change agents and bridge builders. You're here because you believe that unraveling fractured concepts that live in your emotional, spiritual and mental systems while moving toward embodied sovereignty is the real work towards your personal liberation and our collective evolution. In this first season of the podcast, I'm interviewing New Earth leaders who are sharing their personal journeys, and how it's brought them to the purpose led work they do now. Occasionally, I'll chime in with my own inspired episodes. My intention is that the conversations and tools shared in this podcast will inspire and support you on your own magical human journey to owning yourself fully. Hello listeners, welcome rompereglas, I am sitting here with the Brittany R. Williams. She is your conduit for all things transformation and embodiment. She is committed to bring women along the journey of healing trauma and living in tranquility. As a transformational embodiment coach, she helps take ambitious women from hiding their potential to allowing themselves to be seen and heard from their true essence. She uses healing modalities, mindset and strategy to support the journey of extensive transformation. As a trauma informed sex doula, her focus is not on sexm as you know it. Her focus is really on the energy and spirit of sex, sexuality and sexual experiencing. She believes that people can transform their human experience as they heal the deepest desires and restore connection with their bodies, create safety in your vulnerability and reclaim trust and intuition. So welcome, welcome the Brittany Williams.

Brittany R. Williams  2:00  
Thank you. So glad to be here.

Isha  2:02  
Yeah. So this is fascinating work. I want to know what what you conceptualize as a sex doula. How do you experience that in yourself?

Brittany R. Williams  2:12  
The sex doula, it just came out one day, I didn't even have words to wrap around what I did, partly because all the spaces I went in were embodiment, it was sexuality, and then anytime I was in the space where like brown women were being served, women of color being served, it was extremely over sexualized. And I was just like, I mean, I wish that this was the norm but I was like the reality that was happening inside of me and what I was seeing from in my community, in my tribes, in my circles, was this idealistic view of sexuality with no space to sustain it, or even reach it and attain it. And so that's what brought my attention to the energy and spirit of sex. And that's what got me to the place where I realized like, I'm an energy worker, I'm a light worker. But when we find our healing in those lower places of ourselves, the root, the generation, the ancestral, the stuff in us that comes up, regardless if we wanted it or not, those deep places in us when we find alignment, and security and safety and healing in those places, the heart and the mind came into alignment. And so I realized in myself that I was this energy worker, and I was doing this work of the root, aligning hearts and minds, people were expanding, and they were feeling big and feeling seen. And I realized the only thing that could describe what I was doing was doula work, because I was holding the space holding the person in the part to where they could not hold themselves, where it felt hard, until they felt strong again. And so I was just doing, I was just being their support, their support in a place where they had not seen support in a long, long time. 

Isha  4:02  
Yeah. And can you share a little bit about your process of coming into this work? Because I, you know, usually when I interview people, I know that there's a big story. And so I'm always interested in the story. And in the process. 

Brittany R. Williams  4:15  
I think the process I think this was a work that was probably being formed since the day I was born honestly. For myself, I was a survivor of childhood sexual trauma. And I knew when I looked back at myself and observed with Tender Love and empathy, that little child who went through that and how she tried to protect herself in the fear that came up, in the times where I stopped, the times that I hid, the times that I did not say the thing that I knew I wanted to say, the times that I didn't take the chances that I knew I wanted to take, but it just wasn't - it didn't feel like it was made for me. And I remember all those times, and I went to a place where I wanted to do with my anxiety, I want to deal with all these things. I remember going to therapy. And that happened, it worked, I went through EMDR. I went through high trauma therapy to turn the noise off and reach that place of neutrality. About three years after all that, my abuser met me at my 97 year old grandmother's funeral and asked me, do you remember me? And I remember talking to my therapist, and doing the work around that to turn that noise off and get back to neutrality. And I'm talking - and I call it naked neutrality, because neutrality, and that nothingness, was not comfortable for me. It was work to get there. And then when I got there, I was just like, I don't know how people live like this. Without anxiety. I don't know how people live with this lightness, like what am I supposed to do? 

Isha  5:49  
Yeah.

Brittany R. Williams  5:49  
And so - but I remember getting back to that place after that incident. After that encounter, I told my jewelry, that's what me and my friends call it, we call it our jewelry, aunt jewelry, that I was like, you can't do this part with me. And so she wasn't surprised that I said that, she was just like, I know, like you are deeply connected, and that you know exactly what you mean. And so she asked me to explain a little bit, I said, you can turn the noise off. But in order for me to own it again, in order for my sexuality, for my peace, for my experience to be mine, again, there's a different work that needs to be done. And I wasn't quite sure what it looked like. And I went on a journey, I became a solo traveler, I started to go and find myself in places and connected to people who were teaching me things and showing me things I had never seen before that I never experienced before. I remember my first time encountering a Yoni egg, I just held it in my hand for like six months, and kept it in my pocket. And all these things. And all these things, I really formed a deep connection with these elements. And I paid such close attention to how my body felt, as I moved through this, and I recorded a lot of it. And then I realized that I wasn't the only one. Because if I gave even a glimpse of what I was doing to somebody else, you know, they would stop in the grocery line, and just be like, I have three kids and I don't know if I've ever had orgasm, you know? You know, they're just like, I own a business. And I would actually sell my business for a hug, you know, and I just realized, like, I wasn't the only one, I wasn't the only person who had done all the things that we're supposed to do and have the things that we're supposed to have and lead the lives that everybody told us was great. But there was this shadow, there was this lingering part that just didn't feel like mine. And people called it pleasure. They called it things but it was something that I remember I couldn't identify with. It wasn't a natural part of me. And then I realized on this journey, that it wasn't a natural part of the lives of anybody that looked like me or with my last name. Because when the, if they tapped into that and owned it, it was felt dangerous. And so that's what got me to this place now where no matter how far on my edge that I feel like I'm living right now, when I'm holding naked spaces when I'm, you know, telling people shouting shame on the rooftop as a root solution to a problem. When I'm doing that part, as much as it makes me feel like I'm on my edge it's worth it if one woman walks out, and she feels like she is herself again, that she is back connected, that she is whole again, and that she's moving through the world that way. 

Isha  8:36  
Wow. That's amazing. And when you say, I wrote a note to myself here, like pleasure felt dangerous. Can you say more about that, because that's so nuanced. There's so much in there.

Brittany R. Williams  8:47  
That pleasure feeling dangerous. I just remember growing up and watching the women around me and it wasn't everybody, but it was a large majority. They were like the hardest working women that you ever lay your eyes on. They worked hard. They took care of everything. And I constantly heard that phrase that I'm happy when everybody else is happy. And they connect their pleasure to everything else around them. And I was just like, well, there's something better than that, like there was a higher level that I could actually own an experience and it was just mine. And I remember that feeling wrong, or selfish or like I'm a lush, you know, I started to like feel that in myself when I decided like I want to lean into this, so I kept leaning, I never stopped I continued to lean. And over time it just really unfolded and I started to sit with you know people not just in my family but older women who were older than me that had experienced more than me that they were like reaching 80, 90, and listening to their stories and realizing that like we're all connected in a way and there's always been a storyline if you are walking around in a woman body, that your sexuality and your sexual experience belong to somebody else, that it was something that was performative on the stage, or it was a service. So anytime you take something that belongs to somebody else, what is that, that's stealing, right? So even though you are the one walking around with this body, and this feeling and this soul and this spirit, it's been put on a stage to serve the people around you. And so when you go to take it back, even if we call it pleasure, right now, if we go and say we're taking it back, and we want it to serve our highest good, that feels dangerous, it almost feels criminal, as a black woman. Like I always tell people, just like, don't, don't get mad at yourself, if you're you know, still in that cycle of hustle and burnout, because that's something that you have to learn to get yourself out of. You know, black girl, just be able to take a breath and honor yourself that you're still standing here right now. Because if there are people who looked like you 50 years ago, 100 years ago, 500 years ago, if they were doing what you were doing right now, they probably would have lost their foot or lost their lives. And so that's that, that feeling that we have, that we're doing something wrong, even when we feel good, that we're doing something wrong, even if it's something that we truly desire. That's that part where it feels dangerous. And that's that generational inherited part that's deeply rooted inside of us.

Isha  11:25  
That's right. That's right. So what's coming up for me, as you were talking is, is like getting pleasure from the giving, right, which has us in sort of this pattern of never receiving so it's always being like, pushed away from us, because it's over there. It's over there. It's over there. The energy is always flowing out and not in. So then you are giving women, black woman especially, permission to like to say no, like I'm gonna gather all of that energy that I put out into the world, I'm gonna start directing it towards myself. And that feels dangerous, right? Because it's breaking up generations of patterns of serving, serving, serving. You know, your work is you do a lot of work around shame. You grew up in the church, is that right? 

Brittany R. Williams  12:07  
Yes, I did. I did grow up in a Southern Baptist Church.

Isha  12:14  
Which I've never I've never been to a Southern Baptist Church. But I've heard it has its own flavor, its own unique flavor. But yeah, so there's pieces of how like, you know, your experience of growing up in the church if that has any relevance at all, plus, you know, the generational peace, pleasure and shame, how does that all come together for you?

Brittany R. Williams  12:32  
I think with my background in Christianity and the church, I think that that was something - I'll have to admit, I grew up in the church, I've always had a connection with God, but the church has not always loved me, I was considered the rebel, the one that didn't want in the group, the one that hair didn't look right enough, I did, I was too tall, I was too masculine, I was too this, I was too that, you know. And so there was always a reason to not have me in whatever group, there was always a reason for me to get kicked out of something. And to this day, I appreciate them so much for that, because all the things that I used to get kicked out for are all the things that people actually want in their lives and pay for now. But the important part, because I do believe that you can learn anything anywhere from anybody as long as you know to take what you need and leave the rest. That's what my relationship has always been. And what I needed was that God connection, and I had it for a long, long time, I've had that connection of knowing that I was covered that I was, that I was protected when there wasn't a protector around that I was, you know, was prosperous when I didn't see food. I've always had that knowing of purpose that knowing of what's now because I think we get caught up in what's next. And we think that Oh, there's nobody there for us. There's no support. But what's now being completely sure. And being completely present in that has been such a gift. And I think that that is something that I was able to take from some of those religious spaces. And I took that part and I left the rest to them. They kicked me out anyway. So but like, I got to keep my connection because there's no building or no man that could give me what I received.

Isha  14:23  
I love that. I was getting chills as you were talking just your description of being covered and being here now versus what's next. Like trusting what's here now and trusting the unfolding process of that. And that's so important. We get caught up in the next and sort of caught up in anxiety about the future when we're having a hard time and I love how you described that, just the protection and the trust. You having the experience of building that trust, trust in yourself trust in spirit, faith, whatever you want to call it. How does that connect to the work? Because you talk about the spirit and energetics of sex and sexuality.

Brittany R. Williams  15:00  
When it comes to trust, the thing that probably stands out the most to me, I remember saying this prayer, and I have to tell you, when I was saying this prayer, I had just had a baby, I weighed about 315 pounds, like everybody thought that I was going to have a stroke any second because I had a stroke level blood pressure issues after that child. And for some reason, I said this prayer, and feeling like I was at the lowest worst point, and I said, you know, God, I want to see me the way that you see me. It was like unlocking a door. And that door, it had no floor. When I walked in, it was just the ceiling. And I had to go through and elevate and elevate and elevate and break through all those pieces till I got to the place where, that's where the Brittany Williams came from. And I always say I was just like, it's a lowercase V, because I'm humbled. But that's where that came from. Because I realized that get into that place where I can see myself from that point of view, where I can see myself in that bigness in that Majesty, I can see myself in that place where I used to feel like I was too much like from my point of view, I felt too much and in the world that I was in. And then from that point of view, I realized that everything around me, I couldn't be too much, I couldn't be too much for this entire universe, that was impossible. So I was able to bury that, and move being able to develop trust in that way. Part of that was letting some of those constructs and stories die. So I can say every ceiling that I broke through, it was a different story, a different condition, a different thing that was attached to me, whatever was tethering me before to a perception of myself, those chains broke as I elevated, and I was able to get to a place where I can see myself in action, doing what I desire, not feeling like too much. And knowing that wherever I am right now is purposeful. I deserve to be there. I'm worthy to occupy the space that I'm in. That was the point of view that I started to have. And that as trust became easier and easier and easier as I sat in that and let that be my truth. And so when it comes to the shadow work of shame and sexuality and all those pieces, being able to not attach to a result and just know you can really indulge and enjoy the process, even if it's hard and trust that what you're doing is purposeful, you're worthy of it, and the goodness comes from that it really does. So and I think that growing up with that Christian background in a church background, having to believe in something that you've never seen before, it's like you start to bring that in and turn it in on yourself as well. So you start to see yourself as you've never been before, but what you truly desire and trust that you can get there. And so that's why I love the work of transformation, because I was like, it's a huge fantasy belief to get there. And I have to say when I said that prayer, like I want to see myself the way that you see me, at 315 pounds, feeling like I was going to die at any second from the blood pressure issues and some of the other health issues and the things that I was going through at the time, not even thinking about a business, not even on my radar. I remember I started to fantasize more. And I started to fantasize about myself. And I was just like, I'm gonna be on a billboard one day, like, they're just gonna, you know, I'm gonna be on a commercial, like, I'll just start to write down ridiculous amounts of money. I was like, I'm never, I'm never gonna have to apply for another job, people are just gonna find me, and I'm gonna have easier jobs to get paid more money, and I'm not I'm not applying for another job, people are just going to find me. And if it works, so they create the spot for me, I'm gonna take it. And I'm telling you not 24 months later, my mom calls me while I'm sleeping, I just saw you on a commercial. My sister, I passed by your billboard the other day. Somebody on LinkedIn is in my inbox saying we have a position here. I think that you're a great fit for it. Just from looking at, I created my six figure resume and just put it out in the world. And I wanted somebody to find it. Like I did those pieces. And in the times where I was fantasizing, knowing that it was okay for me to do that, because I had created a lot of safety, I could trust myself, I could trust myself to know that even if I don't see it right now, like I am creating it, and that's what I want other women and my heart goes out to women of color. I want them to grasp onto that because I know that there are so many places where we're told that that's not available to us, or it's for somebody else. Or that it's what white people do, so many places that say that. And I just decided that I was gonna say yes to spirit and I was going to be a demonstration if it was only a demonstration to myself. I was going to be a demonstration and thankfully, I've been able to share it with the world.

Isha  19:55  
That's amazing. I'm just kinda like leaning back in my seat. I'm just like, wow, damn. I love how like just preposterous, right kind of like the the audacious dreaming, you know, like moving towards desires that seem like so out of the reality for, you know, your body, your culture. And you know, I come from colonial culture which has its own version of this of like feeling what the ceiling is and feeling that on a cellular level, like the safety and trust of that being the foundation, yeah, be audacious with your dreaming and your asking, and your pulling in of those things that you want. Amazing. 

Hey, so I hope you're enjoying my conversation with Brittany Williams. And I just wanted to come in to let you know that for the month of May, I'm offering private one on one 90 minute intensives at a reduced price. And my private intensives are all about having an experience of Spirit through your body. We may start with some body reading or a meditation for you to come into your body. It all depends on the energy that you're showing up with in that moment. And each experience is tailored specifically to you and follows your unique energy and what is arising in the moment. The work ultimately is about being fully present with you and supporting you in integrating aspects of yourself that you've disowned or forgotten. I've included a link to book your 90 minute intensive in the show notes below. And you can also book a free 30 minute curiosity call if you're interested in working with me in devotion, my six month one on one container for intimate leadership alchemy. All right, back to my conversation with Brittany. 

And so, from that place, how did you then begin to form, you know, being an entrepreneur is a whole other journey, right? So you just described this whole journey. And so now there's this other piece that emerges from it.

Brittany R. Williams  22:05  
Yeah so with entrepreneurship, my business of being a coach is stepping in and saying yes, I realized that I was probably doing this for free anyway. Most of the time, when you're doing something you love, you would do it for free. And it didn't matter. Like what state I was in, I would find a way or I would have an idea. And I would you know, I had a friend that told me the other day she was like, you know, you've been like talking about sexuality since we were like 17 year olds, and you had us doing kegels and squats in the bathroom. I think that being able to step on that edge and let myself be seen is part of the journey. So my business has initiated me probably as the rest of my journey has. But it was just in a different way. Because it's one thing to do the work. And it's one thing to heal thyself. It's a totally, totally different thing to do your work, heal thyself and let somebody else know that you did it.

Isha  23:03  
Yeah, the other piece about putting it out there.

Brittany R. Williams  23:06  
Yes. And so that's what I did. And I did it one layer at a time, I really honestly started doing it. Like I said, I always talked about being a very masculine person. But I'm also like one of the most feminine people like you wouldn't even be able to sit in the room with me. It's like that energy is so big. But I realized that my king and my queen, both sat on that throne. And so my business gave me a chance to honor my king in a different way, where I came out of this striving, hustle-based living, and realized that I can create - as a person who always thought of themselves as not creative, I can actually create. I can create wellness, I can create wholeness, I can create love, I can create security, right from my own body. That's what my business is, whatever you see, is very intuitive. It was created, it was tried, tested and true. And it just gets shared with the world from that place. I started this I did it a layer at a time as I was going through my initiation. And like, I think one of the things that you've experienced was naked edition came out of that. 

Isha  24:10  
Yes.

Brittany R. Williams  24:11  
That was my first part of like taking something really practical, like a picture or learning to take pictures and also helping people integrate confidence and integrate that using their sexuality for themselves and being able to have this receptive form, tapping into their feminine slowing down and letting yourself create something magnificent that can use them. And then I stepped into doing one on one work that blew me away because of course, I don't know if people know like when you're one on one with somebody, you're in a relationship. So that challenges all of the things and, but I let myself be initiated by that and know that I can, you know be able to create, use that intuition and that creative energy that was unlocked and ready to serve the collective in this way. And so everything that I'm doing right now, even with the shame project, it's just that. And I love, love, love taking really simple or practical elements, and using them in very expansive ways. And you know, showing people that you can use play and be productive, you can use pleasure, and still be able to show up in true power, you can take simple elements that you wouldn't otherwise think about and apply them and use them to integrate, giving yourself something tangible to satisfy your physical touching your physical need, giving yourself something visual to satisfy that, while you also are tapping into those more abstract pieces of mindset and spirituality, and that soulful work and connecting the pieces that way so that you can see yourself in that true essence. Like where you really have always been leaning towards anyway. And I'll just pull it out of you. 

Isha  25:58  
Yeah, right, capturing the divine in a photograph. 

Brittany R. Williams  26:01  
Yes, yes. 

Isha  26:02  
I love that. I love that. And you also studied Reiki is that right? 

Brittany R. Williams  26:06  
Yes, that was a big part of my journey. And I had a real connection with it. It's funny because my Reiki masters actually found me. And so we ran into each other. And it's so funny, because I love that, I love that my Reiki masters found me. And I have two different lineages. One is I study with a black woman and the other person is she identifies as disabled and queer and non binary. And so she is the one who taught me this community aspect of Reiki and in the area that she's in and working with the practitioners that she's worked with, they actually hold community Reiki and community acupuncture sessions where people can come for donation or like $5, and get that type of wellness treatment. And I remember when we first talked, we talked about breaking down that wall of privilege and breaking down that wall of bourgeois and making wellness accessible for people. And so that's an important part of my journey is knowing that, yes, I am worthy of getting paid for my work. But also, accessibility is so important to me to make sure that no one gets left out that if you want it, it's yours. And so I hold community Reiki and emotional release for people of color where people can come and unpack and get that goodness that they see, that they see other people talking about or that they might be curious about, where they can experience it for themselves, and see if it's something that they want to keep around. That's what Reiki has done for me is let me explore wellness in a more expansive way. Where it's just not a linear thing, it's universal, it's big, it's circular, it's cyclical. And being able to just embrace the flow of that. That's what Reiki has done for me. That's what it has done for my clients. And it's just been a beautiful experience.

Isha  28:02  
Amazing. Amazing. I love it. So Brittany, tell me about the shame project. Give me the details about the shame project.

Brittany R. Williams  28:10  
The most interesting thing that I feel about shame is that it's hard to define, because I think that there's so many people, we have such diverse experiences in our human experience, and we call it something different. 

Isha  28:23  
Yeah. 

Brittany R. Williams  28:24  
I call it shame because I'm calling out the root. So I'm not gonna call it insecurity or lack of confidence. I'm gonna just call it shame because I'm just calling out the root, just like we have gotten really comfortable with fear. 

Isha  28:36  
Yeah. 

Brittany R. Williams  28:37  
And yet, shame still is not so sexy. So that is a part of the shame project is being able to find your definition of shame. How has shame been experienced in your lineage?

Isha  28:51  
So the transmission of shame, you say, is different for each person?

Brittany R. Williams  28:55  
Yes, they just have a different experience and a different relationship with shame, because everybody's response is not the same. And so I've created a container, a place, a space that would allow people in a group setting while being supported and surrounded and knowing that they're not alone, to be able to have their own personal experience and share and unpack and unravel the conditions of shame as it exists for them. The shame project is a five week project, I picked around with that. It could have been a day, it could have been a month, it could have been a year, but I decided to make this an energetic intensive. I know people are just like what's an energetic intensive? I'm really known for making up stuff. But the reality is I was just like we've all done it energetic intensive. I went to college for four years and studied molecular biology that was my energetic intensive around molecular biology. I did a course it's about sales, to learn how to do that better, that was energetic intensive around sales, like you've done energetic intensive before, but it looked different for you, you called it something else. And so that space is that we are all here only to deal with the root. And we're here to deal with the root of a chronic generational toxic issue. And the only reason why it's toxic is because it knows how to hide so well. And it also has taught you to point the finger somewhere else. 

Isha  30:19  
Yes.

Brittany R. Williams  30:20  
So I am all about bringing that stuff back in, let's take responsibility for the things that we can do something about. And let's work from there, able to start digging up that root start loosening and cutting those cords doing the work around it. And so the parts in the shame project that we touch on that I felt, I mean, it's not everything, but it covers a lot, is family, organizational, and society shame is the first week. Then we go into money shame, sexual shame, we have a break, because of course, you got to pause when you're dealing with your money, you say, oh. One of the things I realized is that they're not that much different, like usually the other one, you're gonna start seeing some fruits from that labor. And then after that integration, we go into success shame. And I think that when we deal with those elements of society, money, sexuality, dealing with those pieces, loosening the conditions, and loosening that tight core, that chain that's wrapped around some of those issues, success shame actually becomes really easy to deal with, because you've gotten really intimate with shame and you know what it's gonna look like for you. Sometimes the fruit of that loom of shame is contraction, sometimes it's you just had it, and sometimes it's just you disappearing, sometimes it's you shutting up, sometimes it's you taking second place, because you think that first place was created for somebody else besides you or not for people like you. When it comes to success, shame, I think that once we untie the cords from all those other places, success shame is going to be something that we're gonna be so loose and free from it's just gonna unleash itself. And we'll be able to kind of move on. And so I'm really excited about seeing women step into this work, being able to have that focus attention, have somebody like, you know, I told people yesterday, I was like, I know, I've been talking about saying for a month, you know, I know you might be triggered, but you deserved it, like you deserve to be pursued, because I'm asking you to do the most vulnerable thing that anybody has probably asked you in a long time. So I shared my own stories, I pursued you, I didn't hold anything back. And I use the language that you're going to hear me say there is no surprises. How I showed up here, this is how it's going to be in that container, in that space. And that's what I wanted to even have the time leading up to the shame project, be an experience. 

Isha  32:43  
Yes. 

Brittany R. Williams  32:44  
An experience in normalizing not only vulnerability, but normalizing that receptivity, normalizing letting ourselves be seen, even if we're in a room by ourselves, or normalizing looking inward, and being able to admit and say, Hey, this, this might not be serving me anymore. And being able to do it from a place of like heartfelt gratitude, because I know whenever me and shame reevaluated our relationship with each other, it came from heartfelt gratitude, and I was able to stop the antagonizing effects of fear. And so that's the type of work that I want to do with shame. I want shame to stop antagonizing women. If you're going to be a part of this human experience, I want these women who go through the shame project to be the demonstration of all the possibilities when shame is not a part of you, to be a demonstration of what life can look like when you're living your shameless existence. So that's what my intention for that program is.

Isha  33:41  
And you're such an amazing model for that. Because the way I experience you show up is just so unapologetic, like you just show up in your, as you say, in your king and in your queen and you just take up the space and you're like, yeah, you know, and it just feels so good. The way you show up is an energetic transmission of your results. And it's beautiful. With shame it's like, I love that you're talking so much about it, because people need to hear it. And also, like, what I found in my own work is that like, shame is it's more than a feeling. It's like a whole body experience. When I've felt shame, it's felt like I want to curl up in bed and like stay there for three days. Like it's just, you know, very powerful, it feels like a whole wash.

Brittany R. Williams  34:26  
And so you can imagine how shame has gotten really evolved at hiding, because if we all experience it in a full body experience like that, but there's always a name for it. Like if I shiver when I talk, there's a name for it, and it's not shame, it's something else. So I must not be dealing with shame. You know, if my stomach swirls every time I stand in front of a crowd or somebody or if I have to ask for more money, or if I have to be seen in some way, you know, and I feel that contraction in my gut. Oh, there's a name for that. Like, you know, it could be anxiety, it can't be shame. So that is the part where I say shame has evolved in a way where it never has to be dealt with. And that's what I'm calling out. 

Isha  35:09  
Yeah. 

Brittany R. Williams  35:09  
I'm calling it out and shining the light. 

Isha  35:12  
Yeah. And speaking of light, you know, the shame often says, you're bad, right? That's sort of the narrative of shame. But what I find too is that, you know, when you talk about shame around success, you know, when we shine, we experience shame as well. So it can be like we can be experiencing and radiating our greatest gifts and shame can come up in those spaces as well, those experiences as well.

Brittany R. Williams  35:36  
As I say, it gets to a point, especially when you're dealing with really ambitious women, the floor is not the problem. It's the ceiling. It's the, it's the ceiling, because I'm like rock bottom, you probably never even noticed if they were there, their bottom is not that far.

Isha  35:50  
Right. It's not that threatening.

Brittany R. Williams  35:52  
Yeah, it's like they'll never know if they hit the bottom because they've gotten so great, because shame has taught them to hide so well that they're always okay. It's always fine. The real issue is the ceiling. It dawned on me when I was having a conversation with somebody, like I told you, I'll talk about this at a grocery store. And I think I was just talking about like women of color, just kind of being able to own pleasure and be able to experience it in an elevated way. And I was talking about doing womb work and all this and I remember a woman she said, I don't know if I want to feel that good. And she was just like, I don't know what I would do with it. And I was like, that's a real thing. I was just like, not tossing any shame around for that. Because that is a, that is reality. I dealt with my anxiety in that deep way and I didn't feel anxiety anymore. I felt like I was just gonna float away like I didn't feel anchored. And so that's the part like things can get too good. I remember getting to like a money mark that I wanted to make. And I remember like feeling nervous letting anybody know like telling my mom or anything because it wasn't what people think about me, it had to become normalized inside of me before I was able to really embody it. And so it's just something especially in marginalized backgrounds, and marginalized identities, that type of support, you know, support is usually shame is not being strong, 'cause you needed something else. 

Isha  37:20  
Right.

Brittany R. Williams  37:21  
You know, you are not strong. And like and really support is so sexy. Like the idea that you can have somebody come and take care of you or take care of it or take care of them and you get to sit for a minute is actually really, really sexy. But we're not celebrating that in a lot of marginalized communities. We're not celebrating that, we're celebrating working till we have tears in our eyes. 

Isha  37:45  
Pushing through. 

Brittany R. Williams  37:46  
Yeah. And we're celebrating, you know, biting down and staying in that relationship until you crumble under it. We celebrate that, we're not celebrating the one who decided to walk away and she's more expansive now than ever.

Isha  38:01  
Exactly.

Brittany R. Williams  38:02  
You know, and that's the part just like me normalizing success, you know, I was just again, I'm doing shame work, but we're normalizing the parts that the world's saying no to, you know, a long time ago.

Isha  38:14  
Yeah, I really feel like the bigger picture in your work, right? Shame feels so at like the center core of so many of our issues, so many of the ways that we hold ourselves back. And then when you open that up, you really open up the space for us all to get expansive and to take up more space and to live into what we desire, what's possible, open up to what's possible. Yeah. So how can people find you, Brittany?

Brittany R. Williams  38:40  
You can always find me on Instagram at the underscore Brittany R Williams, you'll also be able to find me on Facebook as Brittany Williams, but I will make sure that I'll share the link because I'm gonna have a free portal that's gonna have practices, meditation, any workshops that I can give and put in that portal it'll be dropped every month. And I really invite users to sign up for that portal it's called izness portal. It was a joke. I was just like once you remove the bullshit out of life and business, all you have is izness, it's just you. So I created the izness portal that's actually going to be live and launched in a couple of weeks. And I encourage people to sign up because it's going to be free. It's going to be juicy. It's going to have stuff that's going to show up there every month. And you don't want to miss that.

Isha  39:29  
That sounds fantastic. Thank you so much, Brittany, for being here for sharing your story and your magic and your medicine. Thank you so much for the work that you do in the world. 

Brittany R. Williams  39:40  
Yes, thank you for having me. It was a pleasure.

Isha  39:44  
That's it for today's episode. And thank you so much for listening. I hope that this conversation supported you in accessing a deeper truth. I just want to remind you to hit the subscribe button to get notified of new episodes dropping on the new and full moons of each month. If you haven't already, leave us a five star review on iTunes to make sure that everyone who needs this transmission gets it. See you next time Rompereglas.