Journey of a Spiritual Gangsta with Suzan Henriquez | Ep 6

Transcript:

Intro 0:01 Welcome to the Revolutionary Rompereglas podcast, where we meet at the busy intersection of healing, sexuality, spirituality, and by decolonization and radical self compassion. I’m Isha Vila. I’m a psychologist, somatic expressive coach and energy Alchemist. I’m passionate about how the healing of our intimacy, wounds and dismantling of our social conditioning contributes to our collective evolution. I believe that embracing our whole human experience is a holy process, and that our greatest gift or sometimes alchemize from our deepest pain. I’m interviewing healers and leaders, who are sharing their personal liberation journey and how they created a life love and business in alignment with the purpose. My intention is that the conversations and tools shared in this podcast will inspire and support you on your own liberation journey. So get ready to drop into your emotional body. Tap into your intuition and unveil your fierce and blossom expression.

Isha 1:02 Hello, Suzan, welcome to the Revolutionary Rompereglas podcast.

Suzan 1:07

Hi. Hi. Thank you for having me. I’m so excited to be here

Isha 1:11

Yeah, me too. So I’ll introduce you. Suzan Henriquez is a Latina spiritual teacher and bruja healer from the Bronx, New York. Storyteller, warrior, goddess, writer, and the creative force of nature behind the talk to Ma Podcast, which is a loving trauma informed safe space for young adults ages 18 to 35. To help people in this age bracket, realize their authentic selves and connect with their emotions, answer the questions and help manifest their dreams. And she’s also a crisis and trauma counselor with over 20 years of experience in mental health and trauma healing.

Suzan 1:57

Yes, I wanted to hear you say it to me!

Isha 2:01

what it’s like to hear it.

Suzan 2:03

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I’m so glad to be here.

Isha 2:07

So maybe you can share how it is that we got to know each other? Because this is a whole behind the scenes type of podcast.

Suzan 2:19

So Isha, you and I, we met a BB 101 right? I just interviewed someone else from BB 101. Beyond diversity one on one, a workshop that we did together on diversity. And I don’t know did we meet the first time I went? I think we met we met the first time and the second time. Okay. All right. So for me going to this is I gotta say it out. Like I went into this BB one on one thinking it was gonna be a traditional diversity workshop. You know, I was gonna go away for a couple of days and just get away and you know, we’re gonna sing Kumbaya and us and the white folks are gonna be great afterwards. You know what I had experienced? And I seen you I didn’t know that you were latina yet. And you were doing all this, like deep breathing and all this extra? I was like, she’s mad extra like que le pasa a esta.

Isha 3:17

Was that breathing at that workshop?

Suzan 3:19

I don’t know, I think you weren’t because he was doing this deep breathing and shit that you teach me now. And I’m trying to teach everybody but when I first saw you, I thought he was so damn strange. And it was just all my shit that I brought with me to BB one on one, you know. And then we did a second workshop together. And you were the CO facilitator, but I liked you. You know, I just thought you was strange. I thought everybody there was strange. I was the only one that wasn’t strange. But I also knew something happened to me there. It was like something cracked, like it was different. Because spirituality was in it. A lot of self love, non judgmental environment that I had never experienced before ever, in church, none of that. And that was like, it was like a hm moment, just to hm, you know, like, What’s this about? Like, what is this? And I went the second time. And you were the CO facilitator. That second time was like really something like broke, something broke. Like I was already going through stuff, but something broke in me and that one because I just wasn’t the same again. And I gotta bring this up, too. There wasn’t a moment when we had when we were doing and it was a lot a lot of it was spiritual for me because that was you know, I was a Christian. I went to church every Sunday. I never let my kids cuss, they can’t listen to music that cuss you know, I mean, I was like, get your ass up. We’re going to church, lie and say ask because I didn’t even curse. It’s just Oh, I’ll go into church. And I don’t take anything from the church because it gave me my foundation. You know, it also stirred up the energy in me or spirit to let me know that there was something greater in this world than me. So I don’t take anything. I think I just outgrew it. Like, I feel like it just couldn’t teach me anything else.

Isha 5:21

So, so you came as a Christian to my office.

Suzan 5:27

Yes, yes. And so I was looking for a therapist, and I found you and I recognized, you know, you had your picture. And I was like, Oh, I know her. Like, I know her. I trust her. I think I could do this with her, you know, I wonder if she would take me or not. And that’s when I called you. And that’s when we started doing our work together. And I’m forever grateful.

Isha 5:50

Yeah. For the listeners to just like to talk a little bit about how you came in, like, what was your state of being? Where were you in your life, when we started our journey together?

Suzan 6:05

So when I came to you, the best way I can say is how I felt was just broken. I was just broken, I was just barely making it through the day. Like every day, once a day was over, I was like, I made it. That was it. It was like I just okay, I did it. I made it through this day. Right. And the real, real, real, real real thing for me was, when I thought about killing myself, that’s when I knew that I had never had that feeling before. And that was really scary for me. Yeah, I just knew something had to give. I was just knew I was fucked up in my head, something was going on. And I came to you, hoping I could get some help.

Isha 6:53

Amazing, because I that I remember that first session like it was yesterday, like, I could feel all of what you were holding in your body, it was like a dam was about to break, which is what you know why people feel broken is because it’s just like, the walls are starting to crack inside to the dam that they’re holding. But I also remember you talking about that you felt called by spirit to do something bigger. And I was so excited by that, because I could feel it in you also, you know, like you had a vision for yourself. And you’re like, I need to get from where I am now to fulfilling that vision. And I don’t know how to get there. Let’s do this, right? And we’re like, Okay, let’s do this.

Suzan 7:36

Absolutely! you know, all my life is shot, I always wanted to do something great. You know, and I don’t mean, like being successful about money. And I’m not saying that money is not good. And I don’t want it because I do. But I knew that there was something that I had to give to the world. And you know, all that time I was in the church, it was always like, somebody else looking for somebody else to tell you what your gift is, you know, I see so many people like, what’s my gift? like, just wondering all the time, what their gifts are waiting for some kind of answer, and just never doing anything. And I didn’t want that for me. I didn’t want to leave this world without using my gifts. That’s even in the Bible. I didn’t want to leave this world without using my gifts. And then the spiritual side of me is so important to me. And that was a thing for me, because you let me just discover things for myself. There was never any judgment and there was a lot of fear because of what Christianity was telling me. What Christianity was telling me for 11 years that I stayed in an abusive marriage, Christianity was telling me that, you know, I couldn’t do anything until God moved.

Isha 8:49

Yeah, yeah.

Suzan 8:50

And I’m sitting here waiting for him to move.

Isha 8:53

Right. Right, right. Yeah. And so I want you for the listeners to describe your process. Because we work with spirituality, we work with energy, we worked with your body. And so I want you to describe, and this is the first time I’m going to be hearing this too. Like your internal process, like you’re sort of coming into the body. Now that you are on the other side of that really intense part of the journey.

Suzan 9:18

You know, at first I gotta say this to anybody that listening like, if you decide to do this, it’s gonna hurt. I have some of the most painful extend. I remember leaving your office and like barely empty, and it might look like to you I was walking out, but I was barely holding myself up. Like really, I was really barely holding, holding myself and doing one of the things that you did with me that I’ll never ever forget, was You told me to act like I was a little person and to look inside myself and see what I see. And I remember that I looked when I did Look, it was like, I didn’t see anything because I had to go. Like, I don’t have time to see what do you mean? See, to me that was like, they no time to see I got shit to do. What is she talking about seeing? You know, and so the little person to me was just couldn’t relate to that. And then at that time was like an aha moment for me because I was like, shit. That’s how I’ve been going through my life. I haven’t even taken a moment to smell the roses. I had this incredible opportunity to do a graduate program, and I just didn’t even enjoy it. The first of my generation, and all I did was zoom by and I didn’t even go to my graduation. I didn’t even honor it. I’m supposed to be dead in a ditch.

Isha 10:47

Yeah

Suzan 10:47

honestly, I’m really suppose- As I’m looking at my life, I’m supposed to be dead.

Isha 10:52

There was a lot to sort of pull out and sort of look at. In the process, like you talked about, like, it was painful. And I remember there was a lot like washing up wanting to be released. And we would also really celebrate the releases. You remember?

Suzan 11:12

Yeah. But you know, I learned so much from you, you know, and I learned, like, I’m getting back because I really didn’t answer. I want to say this because it’s so important. Like, I had pains in my body because I was holding things in my legs, things in my stomach, and I still do it. But not as much. And today, I’m aware of it. Like when I do it. If I start to shake my legs and tense them up, I’m like uhuh, put your feet down flat on the floor. You know, I’m aware of fear. I’m aware of all these things. And I’m not saying it’s easy. I have bad days, but you taught me how to be aware of these things, dealings that affect my body. So I just wanted to add that because I never thought it was but it’s so important for your physical health.

Isha 12:00

Yeah

Suzan 12:01

You asked me something before now, what was the question?

Isha 12:04

Like I was wanting to address like, you talked about it being a painful process. But we also celebrated those releases with pleasure.

Suzan 12:13

yeah. I mean, well, let’s just talk about Rompereglas. You know, I’m part of that group. And I mean, that has been such a journey. You know, we want to talk about having a support system that I can do things like swapping or alchemy, and I’ve learned so much about just that it’s okay to be to have pleasure in my life. And it’s okay to celebrate good stuff. And I still struggle with this. So you know, I want people to really realize that, even when my talk Ma podcast, this is a journey I’m going through and I’m taking people along with me. You know, I post a lot of things I say a lot of shit, but that’s for me, too. And then when people are like, yeah, that’s fine. That’s right. Or they’re sharing. Oh, they did, then that makes me feel like I’m doing God’s work. you know?

Isha 13:05

yes.

Suzan 13:05

Even when all the cussing and all that I’m doing God’s work, because somebody needs to hear this. Some learn through you that it’s not only important that you take time for pleasure for yourself, but it’s necessary. It’s so necessary. Podcast too.I try to show all the emotions.

Yes

Like these days, I feel sexy and fly and beautiful. And I’m going to show it and then some days I feel, you know, not ugly because I don’t ever want to feel ugly. But I don’t feel the need to be pretty. Let’s just say that. Like, I don’t need you to see me pretty like this is how I feel. I want to be in my ugly night gown, eat cheese cake, and watch bad TV and that is so okay.

Isha 13:56

I’m remembering a point. Just sort of like walking listeners through your journey. I remember I felt like as your therapist, as your coach. I felt like ooh, like we’re on a precipice. like something’s happening here. Right? There was like a little bit of a dip below point. You remember that?

Suzan 14:17

Oh, yeah. Well, you know, the breakup of my marriage was really, you know, bad. It was really, really bad for a lot of different reasons that we don’t have time for. You know, there was a lot of guilt in that breakup. There was a lot of pain. It was sort of unexpected the breakup, because it just came to a point where I just couldn’t do it anymore. Like I just couldn’t do it anymore. It was just so draining to my life. And I felt like it was a big barrier to where God wanted to take me. And then I’m also an alcoholic, so I also had a relapse. That was was another thing that I never wanted to go through again. What the pain of the breakup was, I can’t even explain to anyone how much that how bad that was for me and still is, it’s not like I’m totally over it definitely at a different place.

Isha 15:17

Yes.

Suzan 15:18

Um, you know, I always knew that I wanted to do something like I told you and I have been listening to podcasts. And you and I talked about it. I also asked other people for help that didn’t, you know, like, and it didn’t pan out, it didn’t go through or whatever people said that they were gonna help, but didn’t help.

Isha 15:36

when you were in that dark moment. Right? Or when you were in that dip, where you had relapsed, where, right? You were healing, some deep attachment wounds, what helped you find the strength to go on?

Suzan 15:49

I can’t give one thing, credit. I really can’t, because it was several different things that I did. For me, COVID was the best thing that ever happened to me, you know, because, for me, the whole year, it was a big transformation for me. And I don’t think I could have done it had it not been for COVID because I didn’t have to go to work every day, drive to work, do this, do that do that it gave me a moment to be still. And in that time, I spent a lot of time with God. God revealed a lot of things to me, I realized that, you know, this world is not just masculine. And for me that was really really WOOH! You know, like it gave me power to know that I am a divine being because even in the Christianity like you telling me I am of God. I am you know, I am him. But I don’t have the power he has? something your children, you know, they’re your children, but they don’t have any of your inheritance. They don’t look like you. They don’t have anything of you. It doesn’t make sense, logically, doesn’t make sense. And I learned a lot about nature. Like, I mean, I have like this whole like that whole spiritual side. I got to give that the most important. I do alters, I do card readings now I do all this thing that I thought like I would go to hell for

Isha 17:13

That was the point Suzan, like pussy and spirit came together. And you were like COMPOW!

Suzan 17:22

Right, like, talk to the trees and not really think they hear me? nobody gonna tell me they don’t. They hear me they answer my prayers. They send my prayers up to the Creator. She loves me there’s a G, I definitely still believe in Jesus. For me, that’s a big thing too. I definitely believe Jesus died on the cross for me, you know, so that’s power right there. Like if you’re a Christian, you believe that Jesus died in the cross then you can do everything Jesus did. Rise from the dead and all of that. As I’m saying, you know, but it’s up to us how far we’re gonna go right? how far we’re gonna dig in deep. And that’s what I did. That was my first thing like God, like, I need you to reveal stuff to me that I never knew before. Like, this is just crazy. Like, I knew I had something to bust open in me.

Isha 18:14

One thing I love so much about your process was that you were like, you were going for it. Like you were bold. Like you were feeling all the feelings. You were praying all the prayers. Like you were so determined because of that call, that vision you’d had. Right? You were just like I need to get there and I will do anything to get there because it was continuing to call you.

Suzan 18:41

The Suicide thing was a big thing too. Because like I knew that I was fucked up. Like yo I want to take my life? like I’m sitting there looking at them bottle of pills and it took everything in my strength to not take the pills you know. I called my poor son, I called him, I called my brothers they talked to me down to I gotta say they talked me down to but it’s everything in me to call somebody. And then I got to say you know the Rompereglas you know, I was still doing therapy with you. So that was a big, big, big thing. And that community helped me so much because I feel like I could really bring all my shit there. You might think I put a lot of things on Facebook but ya’ll aint see what I put out over there. Because I really feel like I could just put anything, as long as I don’t disrespect anybody you know anything like that. Like I could really put like all my ugly or my sexy or my everything. So that community is wonderful to and then you do coaching which really like our last coaching meeting was so awesome. I love that you have the latinas so I can be with my people from time. I just want to be With my people, you know, especially seeing my people doing such awesome shit, you know, I’m like, Yeah, I love that. Like, I love that I love that. And I go to a co A, which is an adult for adult children’s of alcoholic because I have that in my, you know, experience with my dad and substance abuse in my family. And so every time I did all of that I did anything that I thought was going to help me. And I still do that I still do that haven’t stopped.

Isha 20:32

Yeah, yeah, you have like really excellent maintenance practices. Right, you really stay dedicated to the things that support you so that when, you know as you expand, and you know, wherever you’re going. When you expand, you’re going to meet fear, right? And we talk about that a lot. And so you really are able to hold yourself because you’ve got those supports and stop gaps in place to catch you.

Suzan 21:01

Add to that. Also, because those old ways try to come back

Isha 21:06

yeah, the patterns,

Suzan 21:07

you’re doing good. You think you’re the bomb, or something like, Oh, there you are again. You know, Oh, that’s right. I can’t do this shit. I ain’t shit. Oh, that’s right. My mother told me I would never amount to anything, you know, you start laying there like this again. So you need those things to like uhuh girl, fix your crown.

Isha 21:30

Yeah. And so in this process, right? Like, as we’re doing all of this trauma, healing and all of this like unearthing the codependency stuff, alcoholism, all that stuff. The whole vision was still part of the process, right? we would like have a couple of sessions that were just about like expressive work, just like getting stuff out, release work. And then we would come back to the vision. Oh, what does it look like? Or maybe I should buy a house and have this going? Right? Like it had different iterations. But that was always on the radar as the goal. Right.

Suzan 22:03

And I got to add that too, you were like and still are like my biggest cheerleader. Like, I wasn’t always sad. Come into your office. I was like, Yeah, like, yeah, I can do it. Do it. Because I come with this idea and you’d be like, yeah girl you can do it too . That helped me to, you know, to feel like I can do this shit. I don’t think I ever had a therapist do that, either. You know, you’re not my first. But I don’t think I ever had a cheerleader in a therapist. You know, when I felt like I could do anything.

Isha 22:34

Now I was actually a cheerleader in high school, I’m trained. And so one of the listeners know too, that from first session, I remember it was in October, and then we ended in November of 2020. But in that year, all of that transformation happened from that time that you came in feeling but not being broken to starting your podcast was one year. What a difference a year makes. I want to invite you to talk about the podcast.

Suzan 23:11

So, um, yeah! I listen to podcasts before podcast became this thing, right the COVID. There’s a lot of podcasts a lot more podcasts. If you and I first talked about it. I mean, like it must have quadrupled since then. Because when I first started talking about it, people didn’t even know what it was. A podcast? What is that? but I had started and I think you got me listening the podcast, actually because you were telling me about, you know, there’s these podcasts. You ever listen to podcasts? And I started listening to them. And I was like, Yeah, oh, this is cool. You know, I liked it, you know, and I found some people that I liked. And then you and I talked about it again. And you were like, you know, it doesn’t really take a lot to do it. Like people are doing it out of their closets. You know, it’s like, that’s actually the best place to do it. And I was like, oh, wow, you know, so I started doing the research and, you know, I was in the back of my head. And the thing about it too, like certain people that I would tell, it would be like, you know, like I or I’ve even had people laugh at me, you know? Oh, you’re so crazy. You’re going to do a podcast is so crazy. And so I started doing the research and I have bought tthe mics, I have the mics. I reached out for help and wasn’t getting much of that and so I was like, Damn, I can’t do this shit. I don’t know anything about podcasts really, except what I learned on YouTube. But once again, like the other thing, let me just say this too. The other piece of this was I was very unhappy in my current position. I felt like I really wasn’t doing what I definitely want to have my degree. I was definitely not doing any of that kind of work. I was really saddened when I tried to find another work because it’s just the same thing like the same systems. I’m just going to a different facility. In fact, they all work together like that under the umbrella of this, you know, thing I don’t want to be a part of. I’ve been in the mental health field for a long time and I did not really see people getting healed. People are not getting healed. They’re not getting healed, they’re given medicine, you know, and they’re told to go on their merry way. We’re not really digging deep. You know, we’re not digging deep. We’re not empowering people is what I’m saying. Like we’re giving you, even like, when I worked at the homeless shelter. Yeah, we gave them housing, but we gave them nothing else. Yeah, a lot of them died in the housing, a lot of them relapse in that housing, a lot of them lose the housing and end up back out in the streets doing the same shit again, because they don’t know how to live.

Isha 26:03

the source of the problem wasn’t being addressed.

Suzan 26:06

Right. And that brings me great anxiety. I know that shit don’t work because I’ve been through it all. I’ve been a victim of domestic violence. I’ve been a substance abuse victim. Okay, I’ve been homeless. There’s like no fucking victim I’m not of. I know that all that shit don’t work. Not only from being a person that facilitated these healing practices, but also because I’ve been through them. And I want to create something different. So one day, I just said fuck it. I’m going to do it. Fuck it. I don’t know. People would ask me all these questions. What about the editing? Have you done this? But what about that? but have you considered this? I don’t know. I had one friend that was like, she’s like this super, really like detail oriented, Aino person, which is great, you know, but she was like asking me all these questions. Like, we thought about this, and I didn’t even have a logo. Okay. Oh, was that? when I tell you I went in with two mics, a computer and I just decorated my room to make it look more studio. I just said you know what I don’t have- And she was like, I always say she was telling me all these details. Like, no, no, no. And I was like, Look, if I want somebody to question everything that I do, I wouldn’t fucking stay at my job. I’m still there. But I’m just saying like, you know, like, Why the fuck what?!

Isha 27:39

I always love that about you, Like there’s this like, boldness about you and just like rawness that I think makes the podcast so unique! because you’re just like, pal carajo! We’re doing this! fuck it, you know? And and that’s the energy with which you started it and it’s infused, like everything you do is infused with that. And I think it’s so part of your essence. There’s alot of freedom in that.

Suzan 28:08

You know what Isha, because I wasn’t always like that, right? I was it. I really was not always like this. Like, I thought my whole life was about sacrifice. You know, I because nobody sacrifice for me growing up. So I thought that in order for me to be a good mom, a good wife, a good sister, good daughter. I had to always be in sacrifice mode. Like there’s no saying no, there’s no boundaries. Even if you treat me bad. It’s okay. Porque tu eres familia, I’ll forgive you. You know, you’re my husband, and I got to stick with you no matter what. Like, that’s how I live my life. You know, and meanwhile, people around me just fucking do whatever the fuck they wanted to do, and treated me any kind of way they wanted to do. You know? And it was like, I’m at the point. I mean, I’m getting a little calmer. Now. I don’t know if you notice that it’s calmed down a little bit. But I was mad. I had to be mad to do this shit. Like, I really had to be mad, to be mad at everybody. motherfuckers out. And I want to tell people that it’s okay to feel that shit.

Isha 29:24

You took that anger and you put it to creative use. That’s beautiful. Like, what better way is there to use anger?

Suzan 29:33

And I know that there’s people out there angry too. I think that’s really the first step. First, you got to be like, something’s wrong. Or I’m not liking who I am right now. And that was the other thing, I didn’t like who I was. That’s why mirror work, when you show me mirror work, girl I didn’t look in the mirror. I couldn’t look in the mirror. I looked in the mirror but I didn’t look in the mirror. It was like oh my hair okay? let’s go. I didn’t like me. I didn’t like my body, I didn’t like my face, I didn’t like my hair, I didn’t like anything about me. And I could look at me now and be like, yo, girl, you are the fucking bomb. So what I’m saying the first thing is like knowing that you want to change, right and then the second thing is getting broken open. Being willing to be broken open, ready, willing and that and it’s gonna hurt and it’s ugly. And and you’re gonna hate people around you that you thought you was cool with because people that you thought you liked all those years that you just been all right with and then you start looking at them like you motherfucker. I’ll let you get away with a lot shit. You know, so you got to go through all of that. And then you got to decide who you keep being who you’re not keeping like what’s you know, what’s what set boundaries, and then the healing then you know, then the nice nice you know. I’m and I’m a little bit on a nice nice right now even though, but none of that is ever gonna really go away. Right? You’re still gonna be angry.

Isha 31:05

Yeah. And so, you know, I want to talk a little bit about your creative writing. Yeah, I’m just so excited about it. Are you willing to talk about it?

Suzan 31:15

So I’m going to talk about untold stories, which is based on my life. Here we go again, like me trying to do something creative. So I wanted to do a novella. I wanted to do like a soap opera. So the idea was that I was going to try to reach out to some youth to kind of play it out, like really do a real play or something. But then once again, COVID happen, and I just wasn’t getting the people that I needed to do it. And I was like, You know what? I wrote something and it’s based on my high school years. It’s loosely based on it, you know, there’s a lot of truth and then there’s some things that I added in to make it juicy. I just said, You know what, I’ll just read my story. I’m just gonna read my story.

Isha 32:00

On your podcast, right?

Suzan 32:02

Yes, it is. It is. I think it’s Episode 10 untold stories. And that’s really not the name of it wasn’t meant to be the name, it’s still my change. Because I guess this is how I’m doing stuff, you know, just get an idea and and that’s the cool thing about my podcast, though, right? Like, I get to do whatever I want. Like, I have no direct, I’m no publish, nobody’s telling me what to do. I do what I want to do. And I made a lot of mistakes along the way. As a matter of fact, my first episode did not record at all, I had to do it over. So a lot of it has been done along the way. And I’ve even had to not post some things along the way, but figured I write a story about my life, and like a play or like a little parts of it. And that and it’s been scary. I just got to add that this has been scary. Especially telling my life story like if that’s the most vulnerable thing I can ever do in my life. And I have part two, I just haven’t done it because…

Isha 33:06

I’m waiting for part two.

Suzan 33:08

It’s because it’s so personal to me. I tried to do it recorded eight times. Like it’s so personal to me that I really have to allow spirit to say its time.

Yeah, yeah.

Because I want to bring it bring it you know, I want to bring it.

Isha 33:24

And that’s the thing about you, Suzan. In this whole process, we haven’t talked about it so much. So I just want to like give just something to it, like your connection to spirit and how that blew up in the process of your trauma healing was like, it impacted me. You know, I want to tell the listeners here like former therapist, coach, all that stuff. And it’s like, I’m in the helper position. But it’s like, you don’t even know like, how freaking chemical this is, like I was changed watching you change Suzan. Like when you were building your altar, I would see it behind you like when we were on zoom. And I’d be like, Yeah, and I I’m a bruja too, but I wasn’t doing the altar work. I wasn’t connecting in the same way you were and you really inspired me just how you were in flow with spirit. Like there was a lot sort of going back and forth between us as we were working.

Suzan 34:27

Because you know what my motto is now Isha, my motto is like if it feels right. This is one thing the too that I’ve discovered. It’s just like, God, many gods right, God for me. For me, it’s the Trinity still that’s how I see it. Right? We have Mother Father and Jesus. And then we have all the other things going on; saints, angels, your ancestors, all that stuff, right? We still got all that I believe that too. But I look at it like your relationship with your children. Right? You have two daughters, right? You don’t expect the same thing out of both of them, right? When you go out with one daughter, it’s a whole different experience than when you go out with the other. You do things will get one daughter that you don’t do with your other daughter because she’s just not, you know, just don’t like it or whatever. Like when I went my kids, I do things when my son, he’s a foodie like me. You know, he loves to try different foods. So when we go out we can have we’re gonna do that when my daughter we go out. It’s gotta be Chili’s. Anyway, I got burgers and because you know, and I do my nails, where her massages and different, you know, not to say feminine or masculine, not to put it in that content, but just to make it make it understandable I hope to everyone is that. So I feel like Gods like that, too. Why do you think God wants us to be robots and all do the same thing? God? Like, that’s so damn boring. Like, what do you think God is boring. Like, God wants me to do it all to the way he wants me or she right? Or they want me to do or alter the way they want me to do an altar. If I was to draw you a painting, would you want me to draw you a painting just like I draw everybody else’s painting? No, you want your own painting! And God is like that, too, I believe. So I can’t tell you how to make your altar. That’s between you and God. So that’s what I say when it feels good. Like you’re like, Oh, yeah, that feels right. I feel so beautiful. And now I have like altars all over my house. I got one in my bedroom, got one in my studio, got one in the hallway, even when you come up the stairs. I make altars when I go out to the sea and leave them there to Goddess. So for me now it’s like listen to my intuition and be like, Oh, that’s for me and then be careful too. Because Christianity like, I think you told me this, like the fear, being careful to be using your intuition and not let the fear keep you from going a step further because of what you’re thinking. So I try to discern that and pray on that and make sure that okay, God, Goddess Atabey, who is my Taino goddess. Try to wait and hear and make sure that it feels good to me. And that’s what I do. I dont want to be put in a box and don’t put my God in a box. What she loves to see me do is dance, which she loves to see you do is read poetry to her.

Isha 37:30

Ah, so So talk to my podcast, you gotta listen.

Suzan 37:41

And I say there’s one more thing you know, even though it’s the target audience has started 18 to 35. I feel like it resonates with so many different people, you know that that it might who knows that might change.

Isha 37:57

Yeah, everything is in flow right? It can change, it can shift based on where you are in your life and what’s coming through you. So Suzan, let the listeners know how they can reach you. You do Oracle readings and you do spiritual counseling. So let them know how they can find you and I’ll include it in the show notes, the links.

Suzan 38:18

So I have a group on Facebook, which is called Of course, Talk to Ma. It’s a public group. So you cannot always join in that. I also have an Instagram, which is talk to ma also. I have a my podcast, please like, share, and download and also if you want to become a sponsor, it takes a lot of work to do this. So anyone who wants to become a monthly sponsor, you can do that also. Hopefully we grow and we reach a bigger audience. And success for me is cracking open, like cracking people open. I like changing people’s lives and of course I want them to be everybody. I gotta say yesterday a friend reached out to me that I hadn’t heard from in a long time was like, I just want to go somewhere and scream Suzan, I love what you’re doing. And I just love you so much. And I was like girl, let’s go to the river, the water and do throw some flowers and scream and pray. And that’s so much encouragement for me because that means somebody listening. So that to me is success. That’s God telling me you’re doing the right thing. Somebody reached out to you for help. And wanted it to be you specifically.

Isha 39:39

Right! Yes. experience through your voice, through your story. Yeah

Suzan 0:01
God always knows what you need. Right? God send her to me on send me to her and we had a wonderful experience. It was cold as hell. But that’s, that’s it. That’s the work. Yeah. And I do have an email which is talk to my pod pod at gmail. Also, I really really can’t say it enough, if you have a show idea, if anybody else, I want this is about building each other up. So I want people to reach out to me and say, Hey, I sing Hey, I, I write poetry. Hey, whatever. So we can see we can share with the rest of the clan, tribe, my people. I want that.

Isha 0:41
Co-creative process. Yeah. Thank you so much, Suzan, thank you . love you so much.

Suzan 0:53
No, I couldn’t have done it without you. I love you. MUAH!

Isha 0:57
Love you, too.

Hi. So you heard Suzan talk about the Revolutionary Rompereglas community and it truly is an amazing online space. Where healers, connectors, bridge builders and other revolutionary leaders can drop into their truth and their pleasure in embodied and radically transforming ways that dissolve blocks to aliveness and authentic power. You know, oftentimes I find that as leaders and as space holders, like there isn’t a lot of room for us to be human. And so my aim in this community is to create a network where we’re all bringing our real selves, bringing our unmasked selves, healing our deepest intimacy wounds and supporting each other, nourishing each other in the process witnessing each other. And that I find incredibly healing. This is a collective healing space. And what we offer, and I say we because it is a co created space, there’s two embodied coaching calls a month. There’s an additional one for the Latinx affinity healing group. Inside, there’s a monthly alchemize event, which is like a movement, like this whole sensual movement through grief and rage, and then into our turn on every full moon. And as part of the membership, just under $40 a month. You also get access to Fiercely Express Mujer, which is a 24 module course, all around expressive leadership, anything that gets in the way of you expressing your full and authentic self, from an embodied trauma healing perspective. You also get access to the embodiment toolkit, and library like archive, basically of all of the calls and video podcasts. And we’re opening, we’re reopening our doors, we opened our doors only every six months, right to release sort of seal the container. And our next turn on event is on March 15. At 5pm. It’s a two hour event and that’s the day that we’re going to be opening our doors for people to enroll in the community. It’s going to be open for two weeks before we close and we get into all of the juicy stuff we do in there. And as part of this event, we’re going to be doing we’re going to be practicing relational presence, which is my interoception tool a way inside of our bodies a way to connect to sensation and heal. I’m going to offer breath work, we’re going to be doing embodied processes where people are going to be able to have real releases of things that they’re holding. And then we’re going to end with alchemize. So we’re going to get a taste of almost everything that is offered in the community. So the link to register for the event on March 15 at 5pm is in the show notes. So make sure that you get in there and get a taste of what is offered inside of the community. All right, I’ll see you there.

Outro 4:35
Okay, that’s it for today’s episode. I hope that this conversation moved some energy for you. And if you found this valuable, it would mean so much and you contributed to the sisterhood and shared it with a friend. Remember to hit the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes dropping on the new and full moons of each month. If you haven’t already, leave us a five star review. Make sure that everyone who needs this transmission exit. See you next time Rompereglas!