Changing the Culture of Business Through Intimacy
with Brigette Iarusso-Soto
Welcome to Devotional Anarchy, a podcast about intimacy, attachment, sexuality, spirituality, self expression and other relational themes from a trauma responsive somatic energetic lens, and with a queer polyamorous twist, of course. I’m Isha Vela trauma psychologist somatic intimacy Alchemist shadow doula love at our guest, intuitive channel and sovereignty coach. You’re here because you understand that integrating intimacy wounds build safety and trust within your body. And that safety and trust is what allows you to fully own and direct your erotic and creative lifeforce in your relationships and purposeful work. My intention is for the conversations and tools shared in this podcast, to light a fire in your heart and under your magical ass while supporting you on your kinky human journey to owning all of yourself. Hi, Bridget. It’s so did I say your name correctly? It’s Bridgette Iarusso-Soto. Bridgette. Okay, so I’m so excited to have you on here to talk about high impact sales, high ticket high impact sales that also pay it forward. Yes. So one thing that I’ve been talking about in my community and around being an entrepreneur is this piece around intimacy. So I want to hear from you sort of like how you conceptualize that what that means to you.
Bridgette Iarusso-Soto 1:31
Yeah, intimacy, to me, it’s about letting people in to see the parts of you that you may have a feeling about sharing, and allowing people to really have a relationship with you, and not get trapped in this kind of one dimensional lifestyle branding, where you present a facade of a certain person and a certain mirage of who you are, that really only scratches the surface, which, you know, it’s still something that’s happening, the trend is shifted into being more authentic, being more vulnerable. And there’s also boundaries, and there’s a lot of thought that you have to bring to how much of yourself do you share? What parts of yourself do you share? Where do you want to let people in to your story, your journey, the deeper why behind the work that you do, which for many of us is tied to something very important, intimate, often traumatic, really cataclysmic life experiences where we were in the trenches of something really, really difficult. And then awakened to the reality that we wanted to live a more aligned version of ourselves in the way that we work and what we do for our living in what we do in service to other humans, right. And so, for me, there’s just so much complexity around this topic of intimacy, and then beyond just the way you are and how you show up. It is part of everything from the content, the exchange of information, the way you have sales conversations and explore with people whether or not they want to work with you. I think, you know, the whole foundation of how I think about this is leaning into the discomfort of intimacy and the authenticity of it because intimacy can feel scary, and it’s vulnerable. And there’s the capacity for rejection and to feel safe to be rejected. Right. And all that stuff comes up around marketing and
sales. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. The I always talk about the having a basis of safety and trust within your own body to be able to hold the possibility that you might get rejected or that people will not like, you know, the flavors of what you’re putting out there on the interwebs. You know, absolutely. Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 4:14
mean, that’s where I talk about the work has to start internally, like if you’re going to be out there wanting to sell a high impact, high ticket, high intimacy, coaching, mentorship, spiritual advising, consulting, you know, service to other humans or other organizations. We have to be willing to have uncomfortable conversations that are really high integrity, where we’re holding the space for people to share what they really want and don’t want. And in order to avoid being manipulative or coercive, right, that’s where we lean into that real intimacy, which again, is not easy. It’s not safe and uncomfortable, and it’s not something you do behind a wall. That’s why I mean, to kind of, I’m always thinking about the kind of soft side of business. And then the strategic side, this is why so often people fail at business, because they want to sell things in a way that’s really detached, and cold. And they want people to just click and buy or read a series of emails. And that doesn’t work very well anymore, for lots of reasons. One, because people are just oversaturated, with opportunities offers things. And the collective has shifted in our industry, and people crave authenticity and intimacy. And they can’t get that necessarily just from a couple of emails, or social posts. And that’s where, you know, I really promote a way of doing business where you are creating experiences and opportunities for people to be in relationship with you, whether that’s through an event or a training, or even just over messenger like leaving voice messages versus just sending cold typed messages, really shifts the flavor in the fabric of this idea of potentially working with someone exploring through a conversation, right? You know, an email very different from a DM exchange typewritten, very different from a warm real message where the person might listen and not respond or respond with something deep or complex. And then, you know, what do we do with it? Yeah, there’s this, you know, and I’m really passionate about doing business in a way that’s more conscious, more real, more authentic to service. And that’s where, again, it’s not, it’s not formulaic, it’s not simple, you can’t hide behind a sequence, and expect everything to just work like magic, right? Right. So we have to create, like you said, the safety first within ourselves to be willing to do those things and trust that not everybody has to like it, it doesn’t have to be for everybody. Not everybody has to show up or sign up for the thing. I mean, and stop making it about our worthiness, I’m, you know, I’m tying my own sense of value to how well something is going and creating stories about my worth versus this is about people and their readiness, and if it’s for them or not, and I’m not responsible for that, yeah. I’m just responsible for showing up and sharing.
When when you you know, because I think of things somatically. What you’re, what you’re talking about, the way that I’m translating it through my system is you talk about being behind a wall, that detachment. And so what I’m what I’m hearing and metabolizing is like having your heart behind a wall, right? Because it’s like you’re the business, the people that you support our people who do want to make an impact on the world because they care. And we have, we are already feeling the pain of the world we’re feeling something needs to change. And that’s we bring our heart into our business, it’s part of our business. And then that heart is also part of sales. It’s part of like the intimacy and really like connecting with the with your person, and seeing them and feeling them and sensing what are their fears, what are their hesitations? And really meeting them there? versus, you know, having this be sort of more, you know, what, what typically, you know, business has been sort of portrayed to be from this bro. A masculine right. Perspective
Unknown Speaker 8:48
transactional? And yes, just Yeah. formulaic and you first you say this, and then they say that,
exactly, instead of really, right, exactly. Instead of really just meeting them and connecting with them, allowing yourself to be felt and to feel the other person. And that’s, for me, an embodied experience, you have to be able to open your heart up, and sort of like have this energy exchange between you and your, your customer and recommend Yes, right.
Unknown Speaker 9:17
Yeah. And a lot of it comes up around sales when you know, somatically or energetically, we’re in a place of fear or anxiety about making the sale and you know, whether or not the person is going to say yes, and we bring so much of that energy to the conversation, that it actually can put the other person into fight or flight or a state of anxiousness where they’re not able to sink in and sit with you and be like, actually, do I really want to work with this person? Does this feel good? And I remember you know, when I first started out doing sales calls, because I used to do in person events and most of the time, it was very intimate. warmth, human connection. Yeah, business started before COVID. And I used to host workshops and walk around and put my hands on people’s shoulders and sit next to them and look into their eyes and partner people and coach them to do a peer exchange or do a roleplay. And it was very real, and, and very embodied in the moment with human beings in a space. And you know, that’s who I am like, I’ve always loved experiential learning. For me, we don’t learn in our head with looking at an idea, or copying something from a slider from the board and then repeating it right now I’ve been an educator for oh, God, I’m gonna give away my age 30 some odd years, I’ve been an educator in some capacity in a very hands on way. And what most coaches and mentors fail to understand is how humans learn best, we don’t learn best from listening and reading. We learn best through tactile kinesthetic, experiential activities that allow us to bring wisdom in through our body through touching it through moving through it through actually working through it. And then again, it’s another one of those things where that’s often where we encounter the discomfort. Yes. And so when when we transitioned to this, like fully online way of doing business now, because of COVID, and everyone’s had to be online. Everything is workshops on Zoom sales calls on Zoom conversations on Zoom, right? You can go back to that space of hiding on Zoom. Yeah, and you don’t have that same felt experience of being in a space with with a person and and perceiving their energy. And so that’s one of the things that I’ve really had to lean into is, you know, relearning how to engage with people in that deep felt way. Over zoom, yes, which is a bit of a task in truth, you know, to really bring that experience and then sales conversations, to take them out of this kind of scripted formulaic thing, because when you’re on Zoom, it starts to feel I mean, when you’re with a person in person, the conversation takes a completely different shape. Yes, when you can see their body language and pick up on it. And when you’re on Zoom, it’s very easy to lose so many dimensions in the prism of what’s happening, right. And so, you know, I’ve had to unlearn, relearn, and then practice because I was taught ways of doing sales that are all about a script. And this is how you structure the conversation. And yes, there is a need to have some structure to sales conversations, I’m not going to suggest otherwise. Because otherwise it can also be really confusing to people. But there’s just so much of a need to just meet the person where where they are, as you said, and really lean in to understand what is going on with them, what do they really need, what do they really want, and to show up with extreme curiosity and to release the need to sell? I mean, going back to the where I started, you know, so often we get on a sales call to sell something, versus getting on a sales call to truly explore and experience the energetic vibe of like, oh, this could be my client, I could be their coach, how do I actually allow this person to see what it might be like to work together? And there’s nuance there, too, because I also have clients that go the opposite direction, there is no structure, they simply show up and hold space and do therapy and, and they coach the person and give them a ton of advice. And then the whole thing just bleeds out into an hour. And then they’re like, Okay, well, let’s go. And we’ll, we’ll, we’ll talk another time. And then again, the confusion like what just what’s just happened. So there’s this duality in sales where you want it to be feminine, you want to be receptive, you want to be curious, you want to explore, you don’t want to come with a hammer of coercion mitigation. But you also need to bring some masculine energy and some structure and some clarity of like, we’re also having a conversation where we’re exploring whether or not you’d like to invest, to work with me to get a specific set of outcomes. And mostly people come to me, either in the land of too much structure, and it’s just too hard. Or they’re in the land of it’s all just nebulous and wishy washy, and there’s no structure to it. And I find that there’s a very beautiful sweet spot in between. Yeah, where you can lead people on a call where you actually give them a structured way for them to figure out like, what do I really need? What is the main problem I have? What is it that I’ve tried that hasn’t worked? Do I understand your approach and how you could help me? They should know a lot before they get to the call. If not, then you’re going to need to help them and remind them to get them there. It gets them there, which you shouldn’t be doing too. Much of that, right. That’s where your sales calls could be problematic if you’re trying to do everything on a sales call, people should come to the call, you know, and you’re just literally having an exploration of like, knowing what you know of my approach the challenges you’re experiencing what you really want that the transformation you’re seeking, the change you’re seeking, are we a fit? Is my approach. And then that’s where you have to have clarity around your approach. Yes. And it can’t be this nebulous. Like, I’m gonna hold you in a sacred space to transform your trauma. Oh, my. Okay, I’m going to hold you in a sacred space. Does that mean you’re going to do Reiki? Are you going to do rainbow clearing? Are you going to do chakra? Are you doing the spiral? Are you working with me for six weeks? 12 weeks 90? Like, what? What are you doing with me? Right? Yeah. And that’s one of those things where we, we, it’s again, about intimacy, like letting people into your process and explaining it fully. I think there’s all these reasons why we don’t do it, like, oh, is too much as they must be either, or no one’s gonna care, or it’s gonna overwhelm people. No, actually, people feel really safe and grounded, when they can see the full picture and understand all of it. Yeah, yeah. And, and ideally, again, you shouldn’t be doing that on a sales call. Because that’s the problem. You shouldn’t, you know, they should have all that clarity. And that’s beforehand, going up and really letting opening up the veil showing people this is the way I do the work that I do. Yeah, you know, and it requires letting go of some of the facts you have for like, oh, some people are gonna think batshit crazy. That’s just, well, then those are not your
people. Yeah, and as I’m hearing you talk, I’m thinking so much about, like, you know, relationship courtship, right? As people are, you know, as people are coming into your field and into your body of work, and what you do, they should know, a little bit about how you operate, and what you’re about. And then you come into a deeper role, you sort of take a step into the relationship. And, and you talk about consent based sales, right. And so it’s like, in this process of intimacy and sharing, there is an agreement that happens in order to take the relationship deeper, like if you want to take it, you know, from friendship to lover, you’re gonna have to have a consent based conversation, you know, and so I’m just thinking about the parallel there of, yeah, share a little bit more about consent based sales, because I think that’s something that is really up in my field. And in terms of thinking about doing business with integrity, and intimacy, consent needs to be part of it.
Unknown Speaker 18:01
Yeah. And this is, again, being open and putting it out there before you go too far. Right? Like you said, in your relationship. So many people are like, Oh, just check out my free thing, or book a book, check me out, call or try me on call and see if you like my work. They want to sell you into their offer. That’s not clear. Right. So for me, consent based sales is a journey. And everybody is clear on where they are in the journey. And what comes next, because you’re giving people a preview into the next step, by letting them know in advance, I’m all about 100% candid, real conversations with your people through your content through your events, right. So I’ll give you a very specific example of consent in how I teach how to have a sales flow at your event. When I start my workshop event, I will literally tell people upfront, today’s workshop is going to be a couple of different things. First, I’m going to tell you about who I am and my background and my story. Is that okay, do I have your permission to share some intimate parts of who I am? Great. I’m also going to tell you the full framework of how I work with people to get their sales and flow, I’m going to break down the whole thing exactly as you would experience it. If you were in one of my coaching programs, I’m going to tell you every single piece of my sales flow framework on this workshop today. Now, obviously, I cannot teach and take you through everything that I do in a four hour workshop, but I’m going to do the two most powerful transformational exercises that I think are gonna give you a really big shift and a jumpstart on this methodology that I teach. And so I’m going to break those things down and then About halfway through this workshop, I’m going to actually explain to you how you can work with me. If you want to do the full program with the full framework, Do I have your consent to share my program with you during today’s workshop? Literally, during my events, I have had people chat at me, I have never been to an event like this. This is incredible. Like everybody knows what it is what it’s about. They know that it’s not all just a setup for a pitch, they also know that I’m going to tell them what it’s like to work with me and invite them to if they want to. This is where when you get past the really bad ways that we’ve been taught how to do business, and you just get explicit and clear. And then I will say to people, I’m going to give you an opportunity to share your challenges with me in the chat. I’m also going to give you a Google Doc, where you can actually write out the challenge or your need, and I will try to answer it during today’s workshop. If I can’t, I’ll follow up with you. Do I have your permission to follow up with you, after today’s workshop, to see if the tools and the strategies and the mindset work that we did today has actually helped you make a shift or make some progress around your challenge? And so I’m again, preview clarity, this is the next step. Yes thing when I post free content, right, so this is another tangible exam. So that’s an event example. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 21:37
some people might be saying, well, I don’t do those kinds of events project. Anyone. All right, you post content. First of all, your content has to be explicit. Again, this is how I can help you. So many people post stories that are wonderful. But there’s actually no solution in the story. It’s missing, I teach a method called Story solution, you have to teach a solution in the story that shows people, one of the biggest challenges that I come across as a trauma informed coaching mentor, is that people don’t teach consent, or they don’t teach a how to get safety in the body when they’re working with a client as a coach, right. And one of the ways that I help is very explicit. And then if you want to learn more about my specific method to teaching this trauma informed approach to coaching so that your clients can feel safe, it’s very, again, very clear, yeah. Then I can invite you to my free workshop recording that I have, or my ebook where I will break this down in more detail. Comment if you’d like to receive it, okay, this is where everything goes south, because there’s not clarity, there’s not follow up, right? So when people comment and say, Oh, this is awesome. I totally want that. Right. May I message you? To give you the information? Consent? Mm hmm. Now, most people will just send the link. That’s it, and they’ll forget about it. And that’s the end of it, right? That’s not the methodology I teach. It’s far more intimate than that. Yeah. So if someone wants something from that I’ve offered them for free. That’s as the next step, I will message them and say thank you for permission to message you. I would love to enroll you in my free course and get you that free source. May I have your email and text, view the link to that resource, I will email you. And I will text it to you because it can go to spam. I will never spam you. And if you’d like I can text you only once a quarter when I’m hosting a free event. Would you like that? Again? Clarity, specificity asking for permission. People write back? Yes. Thank you for asking. I do want that your ebook. Yes, please tell me when you’re going to host a live workshop. Wonderful. I’m going to get you the ebook, I’m going to put you in my system to message you about my events. I message them about my events, they are going to come to my event. May I follow up with you after my event to see what your experience was. And to receive feedback as well as to see if what I did with you at the event was supportive. It I mean, when I tell you that this is like the secret thing that I teach my clients that is game changing. Like I have literally had people start my course where I teach this. Yeah, start shifting the way they DM people and have closed sales within a matter of a week. Because they’re actually having conversations and then I’m gonna give you the next pearl of wisdom here with sales. After you ask them how it went for them. You ask them are you still stuck? Or have you have you fully transformed from what I gave you for free? From the workshop you shared with me and you gave me consent to talk with you after during the workshop you shared with me that you were still really stuck around this Are you still stuck? Are you open to telling me? And then the response will be like, Yeah, you know, Bridgette, actually, I am still stuck. I haven’t really resolved the challenge fully. Okay. Do you want to tell me a little bit more about it? Do you want to tell me a little bit more about it? If you do, please feel free to leave me a voice memo. Invitation. Yes, yes. And then that might turn into a voice memo exchange? Or they’ll say, you know, I do actually really think I need your help. Okay. I still don’t book a sales call. Well, do you know about my approach and my programs? Do you have a sense of the price point to work with me? Because I don’t want to waste their time. My time I want to have clarity consents. That’s great respect. Oh, actually, I don’t. Okay, great. Well, let me give you a little bit more information first, this is all counter to all the bullshit we’ve ever been told. Just
Unknown Speaker 25:58
don’t give everything away. Don’t tell them the price. No, no, no, no, tell people everything. Give away every single part of your method, explain everything, be 1,000% transparent about your core values, how you work with people, the solution, how it’s worked for some people how it’s worked for other people give a description of a range of experiences, beyond honest, like, I don’t tell everybody Oh, if you sign up to work with me, in my 60 Day VIP intensive, I can guarantee you’re gonna reach 10k in sales. That’s the most ridiculous shit ever. You can’t say that. But when I have a conversation with people, I will say, I’ve worked with different clients at different levels during the 60 day intensive. Depending on where you’re starting, I will evaluate where you are with your audience size. How many people are booking calls your offer and your sales process. And then I will give you a range of how we can take you to the next level and how much time I think it will take for you to get there. And then based on what they tell me, I’ll say okay, for where you are, I have had clients go from making 2k sales to around four to 6k. And it’s very, some people within the first month some people too, and some people, it’s after we finished working together, that they reached the goal. And so again, really, like at this point, it’s like, there is no mystery. And this is where again, we’ve been taught this thing about like illusion, Mystique, and mystery and Mirage. And it’s manipulative. Yeah, it’s coercive, it’s glimmer marketing. And it gets people to buy into an illusion of something that could give them a miracle, or a magic bullet or a massive transformation without being 100%. Real and authentic. And a lot of people make big investments that can not only cost them time and money, and not result in getting an outcome, but that can actually cause them harm. I mean, this is the thing that like the Why Why does the project give a shit about all this? Why is Bridgette obsessed with being so honest and authentic and showing the whole picture and being so nuanced? Explaining, I’m going to tell you something, I could probably sell a lot more, being a lot less nuanced about explaining this shit. Why is that not going to work for me, because I’m going to wind up working with clients that are not going to get a great result, and I’m just going to take their money, or they’re going to be nightmare clients, this is actually really good for you and your boundaries to have a client that doesn’t understand the way you do the work and the work that’s involved on their part. And what is the nuance of the journey and the spectrum of how it can go, they’re gonna come in with a very superficial idea of what to expect and how you’re going to cure them and the magic one bullet solution, the magic bullet solution, and they may not get a good result. Yeah. Or they may be a very codependent client like six me like, wait, no, that’s not how that works.
Unknown Speaker 29:00
Coaching, like, it’s not part of my my role. I’m not a musician, I can’t just wave my wand, like you have to come to the table willing to do these things. And again, that doesn’t sell initially as well. But over time, the more explicit you are, the more in integrity you are with revealing everything, the bigger level of investment you can offer people to make to work with you. Because it’s such a clear high integrity high impact container. Yes. And you can earn more for your work. You will become a go to credible, highly respected person in your industry that people won’t even think twice to refer people to you’ll be seen as a thought leader without having to say you’re a thought leader. And it will pay off over time. But there’s two different ways to grow a business. There’s the McDonald’s way, right and then there’s the slow food movement way. Yes, I am a Slow Food business movement builder, I am about putting in the laying down the foundation of the trust of the integrity, not to make quick fast sales now, yeah, you can make big fast sales and integrity, I’m not trying to say you can’t but a lot of the bullshit that people talk about the quantum leap, the making all the big cash, you know, it’s shady shit. It’s like people without an explicitly defined program process, selling something at a very high price point to all kinds of people at different levels for whom it may or may not be the right fit. And they bring in a lot of money. And then they post the big Bragg’s and the big wins. Yeah, and it’s problematic. And so I’m here to suggest that you can build a highly profitable business, you can charge really well for your work being honest, and being authentic and being real. And that you will ultimately have a more sustainable, long term well respected business that will continue to grow. And that won’t be cut short. With a you’re getting burned out from the approach that doesn’t work, and then be the loss of credibility, because you’re working with all kinds of clients. And the results are going to be all over the place. Yeah, right. Yeah. So
yeah, this is this is so this is so valuable. And even thinking, again, I’m thinking about it sort of from a relational perspective, in terms of like, yes, you can have sex with lots of people, but it takes time to build relationships. And a lot of people, a lot of business owners, entrepreneurs don’t want to take that time because it is more labor intensive. But in doing so, in investing in relationship and really taking that time, the sort of, it’s playing the long game, as you say. And there is there is something about it is culture change that you are enacting through the way that you do business. Right, we’re moving from a model of taking, right like I want your money. So let’s let’s have a right let’s have an exchange, you give me this and I give you that right? Transactional but also a little bit of the I need something from you, I need your money. So I’m going to say these things and right, yeah, into really a more the relational space of like, this is what the priority is the priority is relating. It is relating to your audience. It is relating to like the whole process of making a sale. So that that in itself is a whole culture shift. And we can create, you know, your business is called embrace change. It is about culture change through the way that you do business.
Unknown Speaker 32:52
Well, quick insight into that embrace change was my brand where I started six years ago now. And I was initially a life coach, helping folks who had experienced sudden traumatic loss of a loved one through death, a job, just a big unforeseen life change. And it, it morphed into business coaching because I was teaching business at UC Berkeley, I was a business mentor in my classroom for years. And 90% of what people wanted when they came to me for the life coaching came through and that they were dissatisfied with their career or they had been doing things that were misaligned. And I wound up coaching them into and through the earlier stages of building their businesses and being entrepreneurs. So my brand will be shifting within the year from embrace change to a more disruptive no bullshit, business brand name. Yes. Yeah, a little insight into that. But around the bullshit piece, you know, a lot of what we don’t realize is how much neuro linguistic programming and neuro marketing good friend of mine, African American man from UC Berkeley, who’s brilliant at marketing taught my students about neuro branding and how it’s used in commercials and how it gets people into a state of heightened desire and desire and possibility of a lifestyle glimmer or something that they can have. And 90% of those seven figure coaches that we drew laughter that make big money are using these neuro linguistic psychographic. Yeah, neuro marketing techniques on us, and they’re not selling slow, sustainable transformation that you can continue beyond working with them. They’re selling get into my energy and I will help you quantum leap and I’m the person to get you there and I’m going to uplevel you and when you get into my mastermind and get into my vibe and into my spiritual container, we’re gonna go so deep and so big and so far and Then it becomes an if you stay in my in my energy and you stay in this container, we’re going to continue to make these big leaps. And my good friend Melissa peds talks about this really well, I gotta give her a shout out, she talks about this kind of pushing and triggering people on their trauma, responses of desire and getting them into this heightened state of possibility that they’re going to be healed and fixed and cured, and everything’s going to work out perfectly. And that the coach is the the magician that’s going to help you fix it all in a very short timeline. Yeah, right. And that’s not how change happens, right? You know, those of us that are real coaches, truly trauma informed change, people who have studied and understand the change curve and how humans move through, yes, releasing old ways of being and doing that actually requires grieving and backsliding and going through a whole cycle. And there’s a spiral of change, right? There’s an onion there, and there’s layers and you make progress. And then you you go back to old ways, and then you learn to recognize patterns, and you learn to ship them, but it’s a whole journey. And again, that doesn’t sound as sexy and doesn’t sell as well as come into my energetic, magical container. And I’m going to Quantum Leap you into 5g awareness, fully healed trauma, a seven figure business overnight, right? And then you’re like, yes, I want that. Here’s all my money. And then you will have those short term wins. Because you’re in that pressurized container of like, go do get the thing, make the shift, right, and you may experience those things. And then you’re out. And it’s like, what did that coach or that mentor or that healer, actually invest in that experience in a way that helped you internalize and learn and embody the tools that you can then use on your own, because I’ll tell you that I put people out of my coaching containers with the idea that you I don’t want you to always need me, right? lights me up more than when people inbox me three months after they finished working with me. And they’re like, I’m still using the tools, and I just closed a huge sale. And it’s not this, like, Oh, they got the I push them so hard. During my coaching program, they had to make the 12k sale. Two months later, I’ve been embodying your method version, I’ve been sticking with it. I’ve been consistent. I made the 12k, quote, 12k sale. And I had to inbox you because you’re a huge reason why I made it. I know, it didn’t happen in the program. But I know that what I did with you is a big reason why this happened. And I just want to say thanks. To me, that’s more exciting than me, pushing someone at a time where they’re stressed and overwhelmed, or there’s a lot that they’re internalizing and learning to like, let’s make the sale right now in this program and a push you so hard. And it’s not going to be sustainable after this, because you’re gonna get burned out, right?
There’s a big energy drop, there’s a big energy drop. Yeah, and and
Unknown Speaker 37:55
so I mean, there’s so much of this that goes on in the coaching industry. And that’s why I’m here for building the slow awareness around this and having these difficult conversations that often people don’t want to have. They don’t want to hear this. Because it deflates the idea that there’s all these magic pills out there that we just have a lot of money. And in a short period of time, the whole thing is fixed, right. And then and then on the flip side, there are great coaches, and there are great mentors out there doing things differently, and who are more trauma informed who are more informed around human personal development and change in a way that’s culturally competent as well, which we haven’t talked about. Yes, is a person of relative financial privilege. That not suggesting they haven’t had hardships or difficulties in their life, but perhaps doesn’t have the level of stored generational trauma in their body. In the same way, that someone who comes from a culture that was colonized or enslaved and had their physical material, personal wealth and land and human beings, destroyed, stolen. Right, right. There’s a very different level of support and shift and integrity that you bring to working with people who come from internalized intergenerational trauma around money and land and wealth being stolen than when you’re working with people of relative privilege. Yeah, who may not have grown up rich, but it’s certainly not the same as growing up being the grandchild of someone who literally could not own their own land or who tried to own land, and had it stolen and burned, thus decimating that family’s generational wealth well into the future. Right. And so, you know, there’s this level of nuanced also that has to be brought to the conversation around sales and what we’re selling and who we’re selling it to. And the integrity we bring when we say, Oh, I have a program, and it’s for everybody, and it’s inclusive, and I want diversity. Diversity for the sake of just having visually colorful representation in your program to say that you have a diverse program is very different than creating a safer, relatively safer, more inclusive, more informed space. For people who come from very diverse lived experiences around money, wealth, creation, healing, all the things right. And, you know, again, so this is, this is a whole other conversation of nuance of integrity, and it’s okay to not be I mean, I work with a lot of really conscious, beautiful Lee spiritual white women, who I really enjoy supporting because they’re so mindful of, do I yet in my journey, as an ally, or as a co conspirator to communities of color, am I quite yet in a place to say my sexual embodiment program is for all women? You know, these are the levels of one’s conversation that my clients are having with me, like, how do I know that I’m ready, or that I should be doing that. And often the conversation is like, you don’t, you can’t, if you’re a white cisgendered person of privilege, which I look like, but I happen to be, you know, Puerto Rican, half, Puerto Rican, and I hold some different ancestral identities that are not what I look like on the outside. And even still, because of the identity I hold in the world as a cisgendered, able bodied white skinned woman who appears white, I can’t guarantee that I am always the ideal person to hold that space. For people who come from very different lived experiences, I can only be available for feedback, continue to do my work to learn to do better, in an ideal world, which is what I typically do bring in other experts who are individuals of those cultural backgrounds or ethnic backgrounds, to share their wisdom and their approach to bring a truly nuanced
Unknown Speaker 42:15
a toolbox to my community, right. So, you know, I’ve always brought in black indigenous people of color, who are trauma informed embodiment, somatic coaches who have extensive expertise around how trauma is stored in the body and how to work with it, you know, and so a lot of times white women will say, Well, I really want to have Wim or program with all women. Okay, what do you what do you want? I want to have queer women, you know, since you know, trans trans women and black women and women of color from all and that’s wonderful. And how do you work with those women? And have you done work with those women in ways that are not harmful? Have you have enough feedback? Well, no. Okay, well, then you’re gonna need to hire a trans or queer or black or women to come in and
CO facilitate your space. Right? That’s integrity. That’s integrity again, right, knowing your limitations, knowing your limitations and where you are in your own journey of self flex as self exploration on colonizing anti racism. Antiracism Absolutely, absolutely.
Unknown Speaker 43:21
And if you’re like, well, Bridgette, that’s a whole mess of stuff. I don’t even know where to begin or that sounds complicated. It is. And I can help you on the intersection of all those things with sales and marketing, but you’re going to need to hire like a Trudy LeBron. Yeah. Louisa Duran or by Isha Hill. Yeah, exactly. And you’re gonna have to hire a person or an Andrea moon or Tanya Rodriguez, you know, you have to hire Yeah, at Black indigenous person of color as a coach or as mentor, either to yourself or to your community to ensure that you can adequately deliver on your promise that you can create this fabulous transformation for anybody. Right? And that’s where, you know, this is where in marketing, being honest about your core values, is also a thing that creates intimacy and safety. People say don’t ever talk about politics in business, it’s gonna put your business down. No, you need to talk about you need to talk about politics, you need to talk about your values. You cannot say, I am a business coach for everyone and say, You can be a Trump supporter or not a Trump supporter, and I’m going to be a great business coach for you either way. No, you can’t. No, you can’t. Because if you’re a Trump supporter, your approach to doing businesses put the money first and it doesn’t care. The ethics don’t matter. And if you think that Trump is like a big league, big, good businessman, that his way of doing business is like big ly awesome in the world. You’re not going to be a good client for me. Yeah. My entire way of doing business is 360 degrees from that approach. Yeah. Thinking a about doing business, right? It’s not necessarily about politics. This is where people get
confused about values about values. Ethics,
Unknown Speaker 45:10
right? Yes, you say, I care about black lives. And my community upholds a commitment to black lives. And then you let people into your coaching community who say, Blue Lives Matter. Or all lives matter, or BLM is a terrorist movement. You’re not committed to Black Lives. Yeah. Because if you bring black people into your community and tell them that you’re creating a safe space for them, and you allow these other people in, you have failed. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And that’s the conversation in this industry. that not that many people want to have.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Bridgette, I’m so grateful that you came on here today, and sat with me, I want to invite you back on another podcast to talk about high ticket high impact, and paying it forward, creating impact models, because I think that, you know, a whole other conversation is about like, people not charging enough for their services, and then using the money and, and creating, creating with money. So that’s another conversation for another day. But I want to ask you to share with the listeners, how can people find you? How can people, you know, how can people follow you and learn more about your work?
Unknown Speaker 46:31
I am on Facebook, and LinkedIn, and Instagram on Facebook. It’s just my name. Bridgette I Russo Soto. And I have a business group called no BS business advice. And it’s a group on Facebook, where I share a lot of live training, a lot of value. And I do a lot of free events and workshops. So if you want to get into my free course through my website and get notified about any upcoming challenge or workshop, you can go to embrace change.us. And right there on the homepage, you can enter into my grow, how to grow an online business with integrity. Yeah, there, there’s training on how to build an equity centered social impact business model. So you can charge high ticket and not shut out or exclude people who don’t have access to that level of capital to afford your high ticket. So you can charge people with privilege, high ticket, and you can create enough wealth that you can have sponsorship, or you can invest in other programs or other communities and sponsor people outside of your business model. And you have a lot of options and opportunities and freedom to create a greater level of equitable social impact when you’re charging enough for your work, because the nonprofit model is not sustainable. And it actually often departs from a place of Savior hood, and we’re giving and undercharging which is something that we need to disrupt. So that would be the next conversation that we’re going to have is how to stop under charging for your services. Yeah. So that you actually have the freedom to reinvest resources in ways that are truly regenerative and restorative and reparative. Yes, communities with less access is a concern for you. Because otherwise you’re not a business. You’re a nonprofit. And I was in the nonprofit sector for 15 years. And it’s a lot of work.
Yes, yes. Thank you. I love Yes, love that we’re ending here and that there’s a thread into the next conversation. Thank you so much for being here. Bridgette, I really appreciate it.
Unknown Speaker 48:33
Thank you so much for having me each. I love this. This time and space with you.
Yes. Thank you for listening to today’s episode. Remember to hit the subscribe button to get notified of new episodes dropping on the new and full moons of each month. And if you haven’t already, leave us a five star review on iTunes to make sure that everyone who needs this transmission receives it. Until the next episode I’m sending you fierce fierce love.